We’re obsessed with pie.

Sweet pie, savory pie, vegetarian pie, breakfast pies, dessert pies. Pies filled with scrambled eggs and pies brimming with plump cherries. Pies with one crust, pies with top crust, flaky crust, dense crust, crumbly crust.

I could go on, using every delicious adjective in the dictionary.

My pie fever isn’t a secret, exactly, but I didn’t realize that anyone in the office shared my burning enthusiasm until Emily opened the Rooftop fridge, saw my lunch, and shrieked, “Vegetable pot pie!? Whose is this?!”

I had a tasty little box of microwavable heaven waiting for me, this seductive little whore of a lunchtime gem:

(It’s heaven in a cardboard box. That’s right, even in a cardboard box, even fresh out d’microwave, pie is perfection.I brought another one for lunch today.)

It was then that we discovered the thread that forever shall bind us together.

And, today, I brought a vegetable pot pie for Emily, so that we can exist, for a moment, in perfect, blissed out, pie-freak harmony.

We’ve been talking about pie all morning. Apparently, there are restaurants/cafes in San Francisco that serve ONLY. PIE. I’m new to town, so I’d had no idea. If I’d had, maybe I’d have moved to the Left Coast sooner. Maybe now, I’ll never leave. You know what, Boston? I’m not coming home. There. I said it. I’m not coming home until YOU can PROVE TO ME that you care about pie as much as San Francisco does. Yes, you’ve got your own signature pie, but, frankly Boston? That’s not going to cut it anymore.

My love for pie? Burns too brightly. An eternal flame. For pie.

I’m even thinking of making a Cheetos pie for the Rooftop Fatluck.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Pie.

Richter himself often just goes with it; maybe a product of his training as an improviser. He’s an actor, a writer, a Jeopardy champion, (cue Trebek!) and, perhaps most recognizably, the yin to Conan O’Brien’s Tonight Show yang (a reprisal, of course, of that same O’Brien/Richter dynamic that audiences first went coconuts for when Richter played sidekick on Late Night with Conan O’Brien).

We were lucky enough to snag an interview with Richter during some Tonight Show downtime, and got him to dish on the show, the biz, and the Trebek. Plus, he used the word “fuddy-duddy” with no irony whatsoever, and gave us a recipe for the Rooftop Comedy Holiday Fatluck, which further cemented him in his position of Rooftop-decreed awesomeness.

ROOFTOP: What was your favorite part about playing Andy Barker, and how much of ” character Andy Barker” is Andy Richter?

ANDY RICHTER: My favorite part was working with Jonathan Groff and Conan O’Brien. Especially Jonathan. He was the head writer on Late Night when I left, and I loved getting to work with him and writing staff on that show. As always, the optimal situation with any job is to work with friends. Having worked long enough in this business now, I know what a rare treat that is. One of the things that’s nice about working for friends is that you know and trust them, and they know and trust you. So,  they’ll let you do whatever you want, within reason. With the Andy Barker character — granted it was written a certain way — I always had a say,  because I’m the one that had to play him. So there is a certain amount of me, in that the character is a co-creation of mine.  The character was much more of a fuddy-duddy than I am, and probably more of an idealist, and probably braver. There’s a lot of situations he got into  in which, in real life,  I would have said, ‘fuck this!’  and gone home. But that doesn’t make for a good TV show.

ROOFTOP: We have to ask – how does it feel to be back on late night television?

RICHTER: It’s great. It really is. It’s so nice to go some place and make a  TV show, and put it on air that day, and then go home. I work with the people who think of the show, and those who execute the show, and that’s it.  I don’t have to talk to too many people, don’t have to justify what I’m doing, the jokes I’m making. That’s one of the things I shoot for when I work;  just to be left alone!  I love it.  I don’t want to be nickel and dimed on every point. I’m a good worker, and I like it when people let me work.

ROOFTOP: Is that “nickel and diming” something that you’ve come across often? What have you learned from those experiences?

RICHTER: I left a steady job that I had for years on Late Night and I came to Los Angeles to try my hand at the much more speculative world of prime time sitcom television.  I did some movies and other things in there too, but there was nothing that was really steady. And when you have a family and kids, your work becomes paycheck focused. You’re always thinking, ‘Oh shit, I’ve gotta make some money,’ to keep ahead of that rolling ball of money-eating-machine that’s always rolling right behind you. Not that I was going for a paycheck or looking for the highest bidder, but I felt fairly consumed by money issues. But, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve cared less about money and more about having idiots shut up,  just leaving me alone so I can work!

I always liken it to people hearing about a restaurant, having read good reviews, and finally deciding to go to the restaurant, and then running back into the kitchen to tell the chef how to cook the food.  It gets irritating when you’re the guy who’s supposed to be funny, and the ones who aren’t think they have good ideas on how you can be funny.  Granted, [comedy] is a very ephemeral skill in that sometimes what you’re doing works and sometimes it doesn’t. So, I’ve learned to put myself in situations where I can do what I do and be happy doing it, and make people happy doing it.  Life’s too short. Have a good time.

I was just talking to Jonathan [Groff] about this actually; somebody sent me a link to a bunch of stories about the Andy Barker P.I. DVD release, and some reviewer wrote,  ‘This clever show represents another one of Andy Richter’s hopeless attempts at prime time stardom.’

‘Hopeless attempts,’ like I have ‘prime time stardom’ needlepointed above the mantle. I’m just trying to make a good show that lasts! The notion of ‘prime time stardom’ is horseshit anyway. [Those articles] drive me crazy because it makes me feel bad about humanity, just how shitty everybody is about everything,. Everybody’s always trying to say something snotty.

ROOFTOP: We promise not to write anything snotty about you! Let’s switch gears and talk about happy things; namely, your crushing defeat of Wolf Blitzer in the name of charity on an episode of Celebrity Jeopardy. If you could hand-pick competitors for another Jeopardy round, who would you choose?

RICHTER: Let’s see. Should I pick dumb people so I could beat them, or should I pick smart people so it’s a challenge?

ROOFTOP: That’s the question of the hour.

RICHTER: What’s interesting about this whole invitational tourney is that it’s spread out over a year, so they’re doing nine initial shows, so there will be nine people in three semi-final rounds in April, which will all be shot on the same day. And then the final. should I make it that far, will be taped on that same day as well.  I’m  just curious as to see, as the time goes one, who my competition is going to be.  I like the fact that it’s different walks of celebrity life; sports people and news people and actors and comedians, a whole different mix. And it’s also good because I think the others think I’m probably dumb. They see me on a talk show being the lumpy guy, and I’ve played a lot of idiots. So it’s good to not be dumb.  Maybe that’s a testament to my incredible acting skills?

I actually did Celebrity Jeopardy 10 years or so ago, too, and that time I was more prepared. This time it actually kind of snuck up on me, and the day before, I thought, ‘Oh my god, I have to go be on Jeopardy!’ But that was good, because I didn’t have any expectations. To have it go so well, well, I recommend it. It certainly is a mood changer. You can pretty good about yourself for a few days after.

ROOFTOP: Why did you pick St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital as your charity?

RICHTER: St Jude’s  is a place that provides free care to kids with cancer. It’s hard to deny the worthiness of them.

ROOFTOP: Amen, sister. So, one final question before we let you go; the holidays are creeping up, and, to celebrate Thanksgiving, Rooftop is holding our first annual Holiday Fatluck. Any suggestions on dishes to bring?

RICHTER: I grew up in a small town in Illinois and a good thing that farm folk used to do at a ‘fancy’ dinner, was, for the bread portion of the meal they would have huge cinnamon rolls instead of regular dinner rolls. I remember going to a wedding rehearsal dinner where the food was ham, roast beef, fried chicken, broccoli and cauliflower smothered in cheese, and cinnamon rolls. And the mother of the family went, “It’s just simple farm food!” but she said it with a real edge like, I know what I’m doing to you, but I’m still playing the country naivete card. You can’t eat anything in Illinois and get out of the way of a heart attack bomb.

Oh, you know, my mom used to make, as our ‘vegetable dish’, this thing with  frozen spinach and frozen chopped onions. You saute them in a ton of butter, and you stir them up with an egg, I think, and then two bags of shredded cheese. Then you dump it in a casserole dish and bake it.

ROOFTOP: Wow. Do you ever make that for your kids?

RICHTER: No way. My wife insists that we eat ‘within reason’.

That’s the sound of 22 hearts, straining against arterial plaque and fatty tissue to beat and squeeze and pump sugar-polluted blood through 22 bloated bodies.

The first annual Rooftop Comedy Fatluck is upon us.

Inspired by the ensuing Thanksgiving gorge-fest and by our hefty heroes at ThisIsWhyYou’reFat.com, our “fatluck” should knock the entirety of the Rooftop staff on our bulbous asses by mid-afternoon on Tuesday.

And the organizers are prepared for that, since we all had to sign a waiver:

So far, the menu includes Chris G’s Bacon-Wrapped Chili Cheese Hot Dog Frito Boat, Annie’s Apple Fritter Pork Buns of Not Steel, SFA’s Buffalo chicken macaroni and cheese with blue cheese crumbles, ranch dip in a fried bread bowl side, and Alex’s Tots Au Gratin.

We’d, of course, love your menu suggestions. Our favorite reader recipe will be made by one of the Rooftop staff, for us all to try. And JUDGE! The winning recipe gets a super-sweet Rooftop prize pack, including a T-shirt. If you can fit your fat turkey gut into it, post tryptophan-atisicm.

[Want to see Stephen live? Who can blame you? Click here for upcoming tour dates in the U.S. and the U.K.]

ROOFTOP: You’re in the middle of what seems like an exhausting  tour. When you’re touring, how do you keep your on-stage energy up and keep your material feeling fresh? Not only for yourself, but for the sake of the audience?

STEPHEN LYNCH: It’s easy for me because I have the overwhelming fear every night that the audience is going to hate me and everything I do. I literally want to puke before I start. Sometimes I have. This nervousness gives me energy and makes me try harder. You know how they say an unattractive girl will be better in bed because she has to make up for her unattractiveness? I am the unattractive girl of comedy. Plus, these people pay a shitload of money to see my show, so I’d better make it worth it.

ROOFTOP: Do you ever worry that, when touring in other countries, your material won’t translate, cross-culturally? How do you address that potential problem?

LYNCH: I had that fear the first time I played in Scandinavia, but quickly realized that they speak fluent English there. Even more better than we do! Everywhere I’ve gone, actually, language has not been an issue. I just skip the places where it would be. That is why I will never tour Japan, Brazil, or Alabama. As for cultural references, the rest of the world has become so Americanized that almost nothing gets by them. That’s good for me, because it means I don’t have to change any part of my show, which I am far too lazy to do anyway

ROOFTOP: Is there generally a rule to your songwriting? In other words, do you tend to start with a joke or a funny idea and try to write a song around it,or start with a melody and then incorporate funny lyrics?

LYNCH: I do both. It’s hard to sustain a funny thought or premise for three or four minutes, so the challenge becomes weaving that thought into a little story, something with a beginning, middle and end. And keeping ahead of the audience is challenging too. As for music, my head is full of ideas; chord progressions, melodies, harmonies. It’s pairing those with an appropriate lyric that is so difficult. For me anyway. Lionel Ritchie makes it look so easy. Son of a bitch.

ROOFTOP: What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you onstage?

LYNCH: I played a comedy club outside of Chicago once that booked a group from a retirement home to come see me. That was the whole audience. About 50 octogenarians, not laughing. At one point I said “This ain’t no Perry Como show” and got a huge laugh from my brother, who was there to “support me.” He loved that I bombed that night. Very embarrassing. That’s why I never played comedy clubs.

ROOFTOP: Are there any particular things (clothes, mementos, snacks, etc) that you absolutely must take with you on tour?

LYNCH: I have my lucky jeans. Also, three or four t-shirts I can’t live without. My ipod. A book. You know, things to occupy me on long flights. I need to have five guitar picks in my back right pocket for every show. We do a ceremonial shot of Jack Daniels or Jameson whiskey before we start a show too. What else… oh the most important thing of all: earplugs. I can’t sleep without them. Especially when I can hear random hotel noises like the elevator, the ice machine, or the extra-loud prostitute I have in my room.

ROOFTOP: 3 Balloons was your first studio album. ­ What does it feel like to play, live, songs that you recorded without an audience? Are you touring with a full band?

LYNCH: I had been playing most of the songs on 3 Balloons live without a band before I recorded the album, so I’m used to it. I did do a live band show at Carnegie Hall in October though, which I will admit is much more fun than being onstage by my lonesome. I hope to incorporate the band into more live shows. And I plan to record my next album live, but with a band. Sort of best of both worlds kind of thing. Did I mention I played Carnegie Hall?

Carlin’s posthumously-released memoir, Last Words, is out this week. Click here to purchase.

Want to win a copy of Last Words? Enter to win the Ultimate George Carlin Prize Pack Sweepstakes. You do NOT have to say it five times fast as part of the entry process.

It was an unusually high-quality week for NFL football in Week 9. The Redskins were the most depressing this week, though the Raiders, Bills, Rams, and Browns had a bye, making them look even worse. Now that these teams are back, we’re again subjected to Brady Quinn versus Derek Anderson, the lowest-quality quarterback controversy since Joey Harrington battled with Jeff Garcia, and Coach Tom Cable’s inevitable journey toward anger management counseling, alcohol rehab, and a one-on-one meeting with Dr. Drew. The Colts and Saints stayed undefeated, the Ravens are looking like the best team to miss the playoffs, and Thursday Night Football could not have a less inspiring game to kick off its season. To the games!

Atlanta 31, Washington 17

Washington came out of their bye week fresh, and scored a season-high 17 points. Unfortunately, Atlanta scored 31. DeAngelo Hall nearly fought with Atlanta head coach Mike Smith, but was unable to get tackle Michel Turner, a Falcon actually participating in the game. It was fortunate that the Hall dustup happened on the Atlanta sideline; had it been Washington’s side, Jim Zorn would have had to consult with his Fracas Coach, and then the Assistant Fracas Coach, who would call up to the ownership box for approval. Meanwhile, Zorn would have burned two timeouts and then called a halfback option pass, while DeAngelo Hall was being choked unconscious.

New England 27, Miami 17

The Dolphins did well with the Wildcat offense, but the Patriots countered with the Randy-Moss-stiff-arms-a-rookie-cornerback-cat Offense, which is even more effective, if less catchy. The Dolphins are the best team with a losing record in the league, which means that while they’re out of the playoff picture, they’ll be a nightmare opponent for the rest of the year. It will be interesting to see if the Dolphins will continue to play hard with their only motivation being a chance to ruin the dreams of others. Only certain types of people respond to that – high school guidance counselors, loan agents, NFL columnists, and, of course, Freddy Krueger.

Tampa Bay 38, Green Bay 28

To celebrate the first victory of the league’s last unbeaten team, members of the 2008 Detroit Lions opened a celebratory bottle of champagne. The Lions’ place in history was secure for one more year! Unfortunately, many of them still play for the 2009 Detroit Lions, and they still had three quarters to play against Seattle.

People have credited Tampa’s first win to the coaching staff’s preparation during the bye week, or the steady play of rookie QB Josh Freeman, but I think that the return of swashbuckling mascot Bucco Bruce was a huge factor.  Bruce is a pirate with long flowing hair, a hat adorned with a huge feather, and a knife in his teeth. As if this logo weren’t homoerotic enough already, he’s winking. Comedian Joe Tobin adds, “It might as well be a rose in his teeth.” Perhaps the recent struggles of both pirate NFL teams, the Raiders and Buccaneers, stems from their unwillingness to embrace the gayness inherent to the pirate lifestyle. The Bucs let it all hang out with their glorious creamsicle uniforms, Bucco Bruce, and a willingness to go for it on fourth down, and they were rewarded with a victory. Meanwhile, Packers QB Aaron Rodgers delivered his own tribute to the homosexual lifestyle by going down any time that a defensive lineman paid the least bit of attention to him.

Seattle 32, Detroit 20

The Lions jumped out to an early 17-0 lead, but then the champagne got to them and they fell apart. Matt Stafford threw five interceptions to a team that had only picked off three passes all year, which is the NFL equivalent of giving up three home runs to Charlie Brown in one game. Detroit is actually worse than they were in their 0-16 season, yet still had a chance to win this one, on the road, with thirty seconds left. Despite this, Seattle has a chance at the playoffs, because that’s how horrible the NFC West is. Both these teams have an excellent chance of beating the 49ers in coming weeks.

Jacksonville 24, Kansas City 21

This game wasn’t nearly as close as the final score indicates. Kansas City scored 15 points in the final two-and-a-half minutes of the game, making me wonder why Kansas City doesn’t just run the no-huddle offense all the time. Sure, Jacksonville was probably playing prevent defense, but you’re the Chiefs! You’re 1-7! You just cut your starting running back! Huddling isn’t doing shit! Incidentally, even if you’ve found it difficult to make advances, the no-cuddle offense will have limited effectiveness with your girlfriend.

The Jaguars are meanwhile the softest 4-4 team in the league, unless you prefer the Packers. Inability to stop the run, or inability to stop the pass rush? Frustrated black quarterback with Crohn’s Disease or frustrated white quarterback with eerie resemblance to Scott Stapp? Accidental death via exploding meth lab, or accidental death via cheese-induced heart attack? The choice is yours. Neither Jacksonville or Green Bay will make the playoffs, but both will beat the 49ers.

Tennessee 34, San Francisco 27

Alex Smith is another quarterback who looks much more effective when his team is down two touchdowns. He’s like a college student who can’t make the Dean’s List, but is amazingly effective at completing a B-minus paper he only started at 3 AM. Of course, if he’d gone to college in Tennessee, Cortland Finnegan would have intercepted his paper on the way to class and returned it for a game-clinching TD. And then Alex Smith would have to settle for a mark that’s quite familiar to him: an incomplete.

Chris Johnson had another big game, but handled the ball over 25 times for the second consecutive week. It looks like the team has committed to wearing out their best player in a quest to finish 6-10, instead of 4-12, and salvage Jeff Fisher’s job. Backup running back LenDale White carried the ball four times for three yards, and after the game announced he’s planning to go back to drinking Patron tequila.

Arizona 41, Chicago 21

From week to week, it is very difficult to tell how good the Arizona Cardinals are. They pull out surprise victories against teams like the Giants they seem inferior to, and lose games to teams like the Panthers. One thing seems clear: they play way better away from Phoenix, which implies either understandable joy of getting out of the Arizona desert, or a defensive line with a weakness for the bars and co-eds of downtown Tempe.

Chicago’s horrific defense got even worse when Tommie Harris was ejected for punching an Arizona guard Deuce Lutui. This was stupid, both because Harris did it right in front of a ref, and because he punched Lutui in the helmet. Harris would have done more damage with an Indian burn, a wet willy, or the deceptive “Hertz doughnut.”

Cincinnati 17, Baltimore 7

The Bengals pushed around the Ravens on offense and defense, the defense intercepted two passes, and no one minded that Chad Johnson tried to bribe an official for a favorable replay review. Cedric Benson continued his career rejuvenation with 117 yards and a touchdown. In hindsight, Benson’s success with Cincinnati makes all kinds of sense, as it’s a team where he doesn’t stick out. So Benson got a DUI while boating? Chris Henry got a DUI, too, plus a gun charge where he was arrested while wearing his own Cincinnati jersey! Benson was a first-round bust? Cincinnati drafted Akili Smith and Ki-Jana Carter!

Meanwhile, when a reporter told Ray Lewis that Baltimore was likely to miss the playoffs, Lewis hit him after the whistle for a 15-yard penalty.

Indianapolis 20, Houston 17

In a testament to his own brilliance and Houston’s inability to adjust, Dallas Clark caught 14 passes on Sunday. It’s ironic that the Texans would be undone by a guy named Dallas. Comparable moments:

– Willie “Flipper” Anderson caught a touchdown pass against the Dolphins in 1992
– James Jett caught two TDs versus the New York Jets in 1997
– In 2005, undrafted free agent and former gold prospector “Tenderfoot” Sam O’Neill rushed for 143 yards and two touchdowns versus the 49ers. Deceived by the gold paint in the end zone, O’Neill immediately retired in order to pan for gold outside Candlestick Park.

Houston was again burned by a bad fumble, this time by Ryan Moats, the third different running back to cough one up at the goal line for the Texans. Coach Gary Kubiak has time and again stressed the dangers of dry skin, but at this point, he’s got to forbid his backfield from using hand lotion in the red zone. They can moisturize while the team’s on defense, Coach!

New Orleans 30, Carolina 20

A visiting New Orleans fan confessed this weekend that he no longer worries when the team falls behind by two touchdowns, because they often make up that deficit in five minutes. He hopes that the team does not share his lackadaisical attitude towards deficits – at some point, it’s got to come back to burn them, right? Not yet, as Drew Brees threw for 330 yards and a TD. On the plus side for carolina, Jake Delhomme didn’t throw a single interception, and only fumbled once – which was returned for a touchdown, but, baby steps, you know?

San Diego 21, New York 20

The Eli Manning trade came back to haunt the Giants yet again, as Phillip Rivers threw a game-winning touchdown pass in the final seconds to send the Giants to their fourth straight loss. Shawne Merriman, another byproduct of the Manning trade, also came through with some big plays and some stupid-ass dances, probably due to steroid use and being a jackass, respectively. The Giants ultimately blew it when they had first and goal late in the fourth quarter, but had to settle for a field goal after Chris Snee, the coach’s son-in-law, committed a holding penalty that pushed the Giants back. The only consolation is that Thanksgiving is still two weeks away, and Coughlin can’t realistically wield an enormous sharp knife around Snee before then. Besides, someone else on the Giants will inevitably screw up in a loss before then.

Dallas 20, Philadelphia 16

Dallas won a huge divisional game, but the Wade Phillips Disappointment Cam was in full effect for the entire game. After every Cowboys penalty, NBC immediately cut to a shot of Wade Phillips, who has the saddest expression of disappointment in all of professional football. Every false start makes Phillips look like one of his pets just died, which actually might be a motivating technique used by owner Jerry Jones. He’s rich enough and crazy enough to kill Wade’s pets.

Near the end of the first half, Andy Reid used one of his remaining timeouts to ice the Dallas kicker – before a 22-yard field goal attempt. Yes, roughly the same distance as an extra point. This was due to Reid’s unfamiliarity with HAVING any timeouts left at the end of a half. Neither Reid or Donovan McNabb really understand timeout rule,s or the concept of temporality and the passage of time in general. It’s one of the reasons Terrell Owens didn’t work out – they just couldn’t understand anything related to a TO. It wasn’t Reid’s fault that the Eagles got screwed on a blown replay review of a fourth-down quarterback sneak, but given how bad Philly is at both short-yardage conversions and coach’s challenges, you can’t really blame the refs for leaning on historical precedent and denying the first down.

Pittsburgh 28, Denver 10

Pittsburgh safety Ryan Clark has a rare blood disease which causes his blood to sickle when he exerts himself at high altitude. After playing in Denver two years ago, he was hospitalized and nearly died. Despite this, he was only listed as “questionable” for this week’s game against the Broncos. That is how crazy football players are (“I might die, but on the other hand, this game might be a tiebreaker for the wild-card slot.”) Denver QB Kyle Orton demonstrated signs that he has a rare disease causing his arm muscles to atrophy when he exerts himself against a quality team, throwing three interceptions, including two to Clark’s replacement.

Thursday Night NFL preview: Chicago at San Francisco

Matt Millen, the worst GM in NFL history, is now working as a game analyst for the NFL Network. Since he’s working the TV broadcast, Millen was asked to give commentary about the upcoming Bears-49ers matchup. This week is perfect for Millen-specific analysis:

– Is it difficult for teams to face long losing streaks?
– Should the 49ers shuffle their quarterback for no reason?
- Where do you like to go for vacations in January?

What is Matt Millen going to say? “The 49ers used a first-round pick on a wide receiver even though no one on the team can block. I LOVED that move. Meanwhile, the Chicago defense has a lot of old players who can’t tackle – again, this is the kind of personnel move I can’t get enough of.”

Sean Keane is a stand up comedian, writer, and sports fan based in San Francisco, Ca. He has written for ESPN the magazine, Mc Sweeney’s, and the ever popular NBA tumblr.

Listen to W. Kamau Bell and Kevin Avery’s triumphant return to the world of podcast as they review “Michael Jackson: This Is It”,  “Paranormal Activity”, and list the 5 best rapper’s of all time. Spoiler Alert: Bubba Sparks  is #5.

Do yourself a favor, and subscribe to Siskel and Negro on iTunes here!.

You know his dirtiest words, but what about his last?

Legendary comedian George Carlin’s (posthumous) memoir, Last Words comes out this week, and Rooftop has partnered with publisher Simon & Schuster to bring you some exclusive, in-depth content. Today? A juicy excerpt from the raw and wrenching manuscript. All week? Audio and video clips featuring Carlin’s closest friends and family, reading from the book and extolling the foul-mouthed virtues of the First Amendment’s best friend.

From the publisher:

As one of America’s preeminent comedic voices, George Carlin saw it all throughout his extraordinary fifty-year career and made fun of most of it. Last Words is the story of the man behind some of the most seminal comedy of the last half century, blending his signature acer-bic humor with never-before-told stories from his own life.

In 1993 George Carlin asked his friend and bestselling author Tony Hendra to help him write his autobiography. For almost fifteen years, in scores of conversations, many of them recorded, the two discussed Carlin’s life, times, and evolution as a major artist. When Carlin died at age seventy-one in June 2008 with the book still unpublished, Hendra set out to assemble it as his friend would have wanted. Last Words is the result, the rollicking, wrenching story of Carlin’s life from birth — literally — to his final years, as well as a parting gift of laughter to the world of comedy he helped create.

In celebration of the man who dared to utter those seven unutterables (and, perhaps more significantly, dared to so brashly assert his right to free speech that the Supreme Court was compelled to step in and quash all the fun), we urge you to spend the day wielding the word “motherfucker” like a hand-crafted sword of justice, striking down any enemies or censors who dare to cross your path.

George and Patrick Carlin (Courtesy of Kelly Carlin-McCall)

Need a little motivation? Download an excerpt from the book: Excerpt – Last Words

Not enough for you, greedy goblin? Click here and enter to win a super primo prize pack that includes Print edition and audio edition of Last Words; Classic Gold, the deluxe 2-CD set including Carlin’s first 3 albums (Am & Fm, Class Clown, and Occupation: Foole); and a collection of Carlin’s top selling DVDs.