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The Most Popular Blog in the World

THE MOST POPULAR BLOG IN THE PART PART TRES

In a shameless attempt at taking over the blogosphere, Rooftop posts keywords and phrases derived today’s top ten searches on Yahoo.  Who knew that trying to crack the magical Internet code of the Jonas Brothers could be so hilarious?

Without further ado, here’s our third stab at becoming the MOST POPULAR BLOG IN THE WORLD:

1) College Football: #2 Ranked Texas Longhorns 64-7 win over University of Texas El Paso last weekend was the biggest blow out in NCAA college football history since USC beat ITT Tech 5000-0 in September of 2002.

2) Yosemite National Park: In an attempt to spread their brand name, Axe cologne recently tried to buy the rights to one of America’s greatest landmarks and rename it “Axe Cologne presents: Brosemite National Park.”

3) William Safire: The greatest pen name since Amethyst Wango Tango Magucci.

4)Dexter: Spoiler alert: Rosebud is a sled.

5) Khloe Kardashian: Rich, famous, AND talentless? Khloe Kardashian is one lucky dude.

6) 2016 Olympics: Obama is making a push to host the 2016 Olympics in Chicago. Glenn Beck is pushing for 1940′s Germany.

7) Megan Fox: I feel bad for anyone named Megan Fox that isn’t actually “THE” Megan Fox. It must be so disappointing to meet her.

Friend A: “Hey, I want you meet my friend Megan Fox.”

Friend B: “WHAT?!?!!? THE MEGAN FOX?!”

Friend A: Oh, no. Not that Megan Fox. This Megan Fox.

Friend B. Ugh.

8) 8) Palm Pre: Anyone that buys this phone over an iPhone or a Gphone is a Pretard.

9) Phillipines:To donate to the Plood Releip: click here.

10) Roman Polanski: I wonder if he’s received R Kelly’s thank you card yet?

THE MOST POPULAR BLOG IN THE WORLD: The Kanye West Edition

In a shameless attempt at taking over the blogosphere, Rooftop posts keywords and phrases derived today’s top ten searches on Yahoo.  Who knew that trying to crack the magical Internet code of the Jonas Brothers could be so hilarious?

Without further ado, here’s our second stab at becoming the MOST POPULAR BLOG IN THE WORLD: The Kanye West “I’m a let you finish” Edition. Enjoy!

1. Emmy Winners: Yo Emmy winners, I’m happy for you, and I’m  a let you finish, but the AVN Award winners are the greatest award winner’s of all time.

2. Tina Fey: Yo Tina Fey, I’m happy for you, and I’m a let you finish, but Gilda Radner is funniest SNL nerd turned comedy goddess of all time.

3. Netflix Prize: Yo, Netflix, I’m happy for you, and I’m a let you finish, but Blockbuster by Mail Awards are the greatest flat rate movie rental by mail awards of all time.”

4. Leonard Cohen- Yo, Leonard Cohen, I’m happy for you, and I’m a let you finish, but Bob Dylan is the most influential songwriter of all time.

5. Cherry Jones: Yo, Cherry Jones, I’m happy for you, and I’m a let you finish, but Geena Davis is the greatest actress to portray a Female US President on TV of all time!

6. New York Jets: Yo, New York Jets, I’m happy for you, and I’m a let you finish, but the New York Giants are the greatest football team to play its home games in East Rutherford New Jersey of all time.

7. Zooey Deschanel: Yo, Zooey Deschanel, I’m happy for you, and I’m a let you finish, but Jason Schwartzman is the most adorable hipster actress of all time.

8. Afghanistan: Yo, Afghanistan, I’m happy for you, and I’m a let you finish, but Uzbekistan is the  greatest landlocked country in south central Asia of all time.

9. African Rock Python: Yo, African Rock Python,  I’m happy for you, and I’m a let you finish, but the Asiatic Reticulated Python is the longest and largest snake of all time!

10. Mark Martin: Yo, Mark Martin, I’m happy for you, and I’m a let you finish, but Ricky Rudd is the best Nascar driver to never win a championship of all time.

Introducing: The Most Popular Blog in the World

It has come to my attention that not many people read this blog. (4,000 visitors a day = Harrumph!). This is unfortunate considering how much love we put into it.

In a shameless attempt to grow our readership, I’m going to write about each of  yahoo’s top ten searches of the day. The thing is, I don’t know very much about this pop news hullabaloo, and I just don’t have the time to research the topics, so I’m just going to make things up.

And away we go.

  1. Swine Flu Vaccine: One part tussin. One part grape soda. Three parts gin.  It worked for Lil Wayne and it can work for you.
  2. Prince Harry: One of my friends has a “Prince Harry,” and from what I hear, it was a really painful piercing.
  3. The Frankfurt Motor Show: Similar to the Dirty Sanchez, but with a shorter mustache and a motorboat grand finale.
  4. Taylor Swift: World renowned man on man porn star.  I hear he likes to go head to head with Kanye West.
  5. The Patriot Act: The Patriot Act all cool when dey win the Super Bowl n shit. Dat’s wack.
  6. Patrick Swayze: RIP.
  7. Lady Gaga: RIP
  8. Afghanistan war: Probably my favorite new band since Flogging Somali.
  9. Ben Bernanke: I went to high school with this creep, and he STILL owes me money.
  10. Megadeth: My favorite emo Transformer since Goth-timus Prime.

Okay, there you have it, folks. My attempt at creating the most popular blog in the world. I’ll check back soon to see if my little experiment worked. In the meantime, let the billions of hits begin!