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NFLOL: Sean Keane recaps week 7 of NFL Football

By Comedian Sean Keane

It was a bad week to be an underdog in the NFL. Last week, the Raiders were 14-point underdogs at home, and pulled a huge upset. This week, the Raiders lost by 38 at home.  Favorites brought down the hammer, only three underdogs covered, thousands of multi-team parlays paid off, and bookmakers all over Vegas got murdered.  And by “murdered”, I mean, beaten with baseball bats and dumped into shallow graves in the desert, all because there’s no point spread high enough for a game featuring the St. Louis Rams.  Betting on Tampa, Cleveland, St. Louis, or Tampa? Fuhgeddaboudit.
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We smell a B-school video war

MIT Sloan business school students are nerds. But funny nerds. Funny nerds with autotune.

Whatchu got, Harvard? Stanford? Chicago? Bring it.

Damn, MIT. Last month you Rick-Rolled an entire city. And now you’re taking on SNL? We like it.

Album: The Beards of Comedy!

[ <--We stole this from Mr. Morph's Gallery - The Beard Community Bulletin Board.]

Even more exciting than the sweet’n'hairy morphing action happening on this page? The release of “Comedy For People”, the brand-spankin’ new album from our fuzzy buddies The Beards of Comedy. (Click HERE to purchase!)

Comprised of Rooftop comedians Dave Stone, Andy Sandford, TJ Young, and Joe Zimmerman, the Beards of Comedy have a combined resume that includes appearances with Aziz Ansari, Todd Barry, Doug Benson, Jim Breuer, Greg Giraldo, Andy Kindler, Patton Oswalt, Brian Posehn and Greg Proops. Plus. a collective yard of wooly facial sassafras that simply can’t be beat.

The Beards are celebrating the release of “Comedy for People” with a multi-city tour. Dates include:

October 15DSI Comedy Theatre – Chapel Hill, NC
October 16The Melting Point – Athens, GA
October 17
Ground Zero – Spartanburg, SC
November 13-14
Nutt Street Comedy – Wilmington, NC
January 16-19
(2010) – The Laughing Skull Lounge – Atlanta, GA
January 22-23
(2010) – The Charleston Comedy Festival – Charleston, SC

BREAKING NEWS – Joe Wong goes to Washington

Comedian and friend of Rooftop Joe Wong has been booked to perform at the 2010 White House Correspondent’s Dinner.

Let us be the first, Joe, to say to you, “FUCK YEAH!”

U.S. relations with China just got good like whoa.

NFLOL: Sean Keane roughs up Week 5 of NFL Football

By Comedian Sean Keane

It was a great week for undefeated teams who haven’t played anyone good yet, and a bad week for teams who play next to the Great Lakes. Fans in Denver began making plans for the playoffs, while fans in the Bay Area made plans to purchase the Direct TV Season Ticket package after watching the local teams lose by a combined score of 89-17. Miles Austin and a punter named Zastudil both got game balls, and a fly ball hit Matt Holliday in the balls, which doesn’t have anything to do with football but should never, ever be forgotten because it was hilarious. To the games!

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Happy Anniversary Punchline Magazine!

Has it been four years already? It seems like twas only yesterday that you pounced upon the Internets, Punchline Magazine, cool and sleek and hilarious, like the illicit spawn of a cheetah and a hyena. (Did we mention how fast you can run? It’s amazing.)

Punchline brings you (yes, you!) A Tight 5ive every week, without which we’d be lost. Emotionally. And, for that, we thank, adore, and stalk them.

To mark the anniversary of their four-year chucklefest, Punchline Magazine invites you (yes, you! Again!) to Comix (535 W. 14th, New York, New York) on October 13 at 7:30, to experience the comedic glory that is Lewis Black, Janeane Garofalo, Todd Barry, Ted Alexandro, Christian Finnegan, Pete Dominick, and Robert Hawkins.

Get your tickets now, before they sell out. Because if you fuck this up, you’ve fucked up EVERYTHING.

NFLOL: Sean Keane tackles week 4 of NFL Football

By Comedian Sean Keane

It was a Sunday of blowouts and bum fights in the NFL, with mismatches turning into lopsided victories.  Good teams took care of business, and most of the close games featured pitiful, unwatchable teams. When the lead story on SportsCenter is about plantarfasciitis, you know it wasn’t a fasciinating weekend for football.

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Congrats, Moshe Kasher!!

A big fat MAZEL TOV to comedian Moshe Kasher for being named in Heeb Magazine’s Heeb100 list!

“Moshe Kasher proves that pain can be funny with his album, Everyone You Know is Going to Die, And Then You Are, on which the Laffapalooza vet riffs on everything from performing before an ignorant, homophobic crowd to his tragic haircut. Kasher follows up his depressingly titled disc by appearing on Live at Gotham on Comedy Central.”

Congrats, you big fat Jew!

Interview with Steve Martin

Photo by Sandee O.

Interview by Chris Garcia.

I remember watching Steve Martin’s Wild and Crazy Guy on a crinkly VHS tape, while sitting on my parent’s bedroom floor. I was just a little fat kid at the time. My parents were at work, as they often were, and my older sister, my only sibling, had just married her high school sweetheart and moved two miles away.

I lived in a lonely latchkey world of Eggos and Legos and sitcoms and cable tv. My surrogate parents were the Huxtables. My siblings were Pee Wee Herman, Weird Al, and ALF. My best friend: laughter. It was my security blanket, my safety net, and my secret weapon. And when I wasn’t watching people creating laughter on tv, I was creating it myself. I’d dress up in my dad’s clothes and fall down a flight of stairs, blast arm pit farts, run around with my weiner out. I’d do anything to get a laugh. I was that kid.

So there I was, a little lonely clown huddled in front of the Magnavox, watching this man in a white suit with a fake arrow through his head play the banjo in front of thousands of people. I remember thinking to myself, “This guy is just like me! The type of guy that runs into his room, grabs a bunch of props, and starts running around to make people laugh. I’m a wild and crazy guy, too!”

And so my obsession Steve Martin began. I memorized his albums, watched all of his movies, stayed up to watch him on SNL, read ‘Cruel Shoes‘. Twice.

I loved this man. I started emulating him. I’d dress up in a suit for Thanksgiving and recreated scenes from Dirty Rotten Scoundrels and the Jerk for my family. I even put talcum powder in my hair so I’d look more like him. I’d break into the “wild and crazy guys” voice and get sudden bouts of “happy feet.” I wanted to be this man, because he was silly and smart like me, and he made everyone around him so happy.

Not until years later would I realize, that this guy was lonely, too, and that being funny is how some people react to the world, and that laughter is the glue that holds it together.

I, along with a few other writers, had the great pleasure of speaking with Steve over the phone from his Los Angeles home the other day. He has a new banjo record out and a tour he’s promoting, but I managed to sneak in some comedy related questions. He was as nice and thoughtful as I imagined him to be, and, of course, very funny.

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UN-Believable

by Lance Gould

As they usually do in the autumn, most of the heads of the world’s countries came to the United States last week to address the United Nations. There was the usual mix of terrifying white guys and terrifying people of color. Sadly, Gabonese dictator Omar Bongo — long the head of state with (to immature Westerners) the planet’s most ridiculously amusing name — was not among them, as a result of his having passed away three months earlier.

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