I used to live with a biker named Rusty. Actually, my boyfriend lived in his basement and I stayed over there (for a year).

Rusty was admired among friends for his “words of wisdom”. Some would deem them sentence fragments but, among a group of alcoholics around the dining room card table, he was a soothsayer. In one heated political discussion he suggested we cripple our government by not paying taxes. This was followed by applause. For all his engraved faults he was just a good guy with a bad job in a small town. For most people the choice was easy; leave Janesville or… punch in.

Some weren’t aware they had a choice and ended up staying, getting tattoos, and investing in a pool cue. Rusty had fallen victim to Janesville long ago and has since embraced the beer-mirror reality we called home.

Posted: August 7th, 2008 under Ruminations, theorizations and stuff.
Comments: 1

Wisconsin is known for their alcoholics. While performing in Appleton this past week I heard this story about a man who was arrested after being found in someone’s basement covered in barbecue sauce claiming to be on the run from the government. The funny part of the story was not that he was covered in sauce, or that he was naked, or even that he was found whistling with a cat.

The funny part was that he referred to his outfit as “urban camouflage”.

Posted: July 29th, 2008 under Ruminations, theorizations and stuff.
Comments: 2

This weekend we brought the comedy to the people of Bloomington, IL at “Donnie B’s Funny Bone”. On all the signs it just says Donnie B’s though. As if that says funny more than Funny Bone.

It actually says in the contract that I am not allowed to seduce the wait staff or club patrons. Damn. I have always dreamed of settling down with a nice boy from Bloomington and getting matching wind breakers. Whatever incident prompted that inclusion I feel sorry for all parties involved.

The crowds were the kinds of crowds you get in a college town when college is not in session. Groups of 40 – 50 people out for a big night on the republican town. There was one couple that came out for the show despite the fact that their newborn triplets were still in ICU. I can’t decide if that’s right or not but, regardless, very noteworthy.

Posted: June 17th, 2008 under Ruminations, theorizations and stuff.
Comments: none

This year’s first Aspen RooftopComedy Festival was one of those experiences that made being a comedian fun again. It was everything most comedy-caravans are not: relaxed, funny, and catered. There were no “actor / comedians” or huge egos. It was just a bunch of really funny people there to have a good time.

I have to admit, I had my doubts. It’s hard to entertain entertainers, especially really sarcastic ones. I had imagined comedians throwing themselves off balconies out of boredom but instead the balcony was full of comedians watching every show. Laughing.

Robert Hawkins had the whole house in tears. Matt Braunger’s hate-filled owl thing was definitely a highlight. Chris Porter and Auggie Smith were huge crowd pleasers and Robert Buscemi was just fun to watch.

Even the college competition was a great surprise. I originally was against the whole idea of it. “College kids? They aren’t real comedians.” But again, I was not only proven wrong but left impressed with how much talent and unique perspectives there really were. Check out Reid Faylor… he was my favorite.

So again, good job Rooftop. Nice set.

Posted: June 5th, 2008 under Aspen and the National College Comedy Competition.
Comments: 3

Aisha Taylor is headlining the Hilarities in Cleveland this weekend. Mike Lucas and I are filling in the Tuesday and Wednesday shows to entertain the people who don’t really care who’s on stage or can’t afford Aisha tickets. Some of Mike’s fans have confirmed as well.

Who is Aisha Taylor you ask? She hosted Talk Soup and, if you saw her, you’d realize you might have seen her before.

Mike told me today that she was preempted by a 2 page article in the Cleveland paper titled “Actress Comes Back to Comedy”. Described as “conversational humor” and “a storyteller” the editorial writes as if his job depends on it.

Now I am not here to rebuke her status as a comedian. I’m sure she’s hilarious. But you can’t have perfect skin and toned triceps and be considered a “real comedian”. At least not to me. Eat Taco Bell for two weeks and then take a good look at yourself.

“You need a nap.”

“What do you mean? I slept for close to 17 hours today. This is me after a nap.”

A lot of people tell me that just because someone is void of personal pain doesn’t mean they can’t be truly funny. I believe that. I also believe in aliens but, I have never met one of them either.

Posted: May 23rd, 2008 under Ruminations, theorizations and stuff.
Comments: none

I remember everything about my first time. The bar where we met. The 8 beers it took to go through with it. The knots in my stomach and how my legs shook the whole time. Everyone has their story about their first time on stage and soon Paolo will have one too, on this blog, for the ten of us to read.

My first time was a misunderstanding.
The rest of my first time, after the jump.

Posted: May 22nd, 2008 under Ruminations, theorizations and stuff.
Comments: 2

I bought this tea today proving I will by anything that claims it will have an affect on my mood. I tested the claim and found out it is partially true, you do feel a bit more at ease. It could have been the placebo effect though. Maybe I convinced myself it was working just to protect my $2.49 investment.

Posted: May 20th, 2008 under Ruminations, theorizations and stuff.
Comments: none

Stand-up comedy is difficult to judge. Picking your favorite comedian is a lot like picking your friends. You wouldn’t hang out with a guy that only talks about Ghostbusters but, there are some people who call him Gozar and visit his Myspace page twice a day.

Most times the people who make me laugh are rarely trying to do so. It’s usually the weird guy who believes in his WWE t-shirt a little too much that I find to be so funny. Finding who you think is funny is a personal choice. Finding your favorite comedian is an acquired taste.

You usually go through phases. Eventually you graduate from Boones Farm (I remember when I liked Judy Tenuta.) to something imported from France containing a rare piece of cat shit.

Being a comedy fan is a lot like wanting Obama to win and then finding most of the country generally still likes Boones Farm.

Posted: May 19th, 2008 under Ruminations, theorizations and stuff.
Comments: 1