LOST “THE CANDIDATE” RECAP (S06E14)
There was a wise man that once said, “Men who cry probably are the coolest men ever. And their penises are huge. And they have a great 401K.” Well I’m here to announce that I fit that description perfectly after this episode.
My God, it was so, so sad. Let’s get the flash-sideways out of the way first.
Jack fixed Locke, but he feels, nay BELIEVES, he can fix his paralysis. But Locke says no. Jack, being Jack, tries to find out why. Come to find out, Locke had a private pilot’s license and took his dad on a flight, but they crashed. His dad is now a vegetable and Locke feels guilty, so he doesn’t want to get fixed.
There was one interesting part of the flash-sideways. When Locke was asleep, Jack tried to wake him. Locke started mubling and said, “I wish you would have believed me…” calling back to when he was trying to get Jack to go back to the island. More bleeding between the two worlds! But what does it all mean? We’ll have to wait to find out. Bastards! Waiting is stupid. My mom said, “wait till marriage to have sex” and I said, “waiting is stupid.” So I slept with some women the next day. Awesome. Waiting was stupid. Sure, I got herpes, but don’t we all? Point proven.
But the meat of this episode was on the island. Jack decides to help Flocke save his friends, who have been caged by Widmore. So Flocke transforms into smokey and goes to town on Widmore’s men while Sayid and Jack open the cage. On a side note, Smokey sometimes sounds like a Tyrannosaurus Rex.
So with the entire gang in tow, they head to the Ajira plane to take off. However, Widmore has rigged it to explode. Flocke takes the bomb, but suddenly changes his mind on flying away. He wants to take the submarine.
The crew takes over the submarine, but when Jack is not looking, Flocke switches their bags. Now, Jack is carrying the bomb. And not da bomb but the bomb. And you can see what’s going to happen…
As they run to the submarine, Kate gets shot in the shoulder. And now I’m torn. Kate has gotten pretty annoying, so there is a part of me that is excited. But then I remember, Kate is hot, so I get upset. Don’t die, stay alive and don’t talk. And take your top off. You’re a fantastic character.
They get on and Sawyer closes the sub. Poor Claire gets left behind again.
On the sub, Jack starts to help Kate but discovers the bag switch. Sawyer knows how to disarm the bomb, but Jack says no. He believes they are safe. And it makes sense. Flocke cannot kill candidates. The bomb was planted by him. If they just let it go, they will be fine. However, Sawyer doesn’t trust Jack and we all know why. So Sawyer pulls the cords and stops the bomb… for a second. Then it starts ticking fast. DAMN! The bomb is now not Flocke’s, it is Sawyer’s. It is free to explode.
Sayid quickly tells Jack where Desmond is and tells Jack he must save everyone. Sayid runs with the bomb, jumps in a room, and the bomb goes off.
Bye, Sayid. You have been redeemed.
Panic ensues. Lapidus goes to find the group but gets smacked by a metal door and knocked unconscious.
Bye, Lapidus. Your death was lame.
Hurley takes Kate and they swim out. The rest are leaving when we find out that Sun is trapped behind a cabinet. Sawyer, Jack, and Jin move it, only discover she’s stuck behind more metal. DAMN AGAIN! Sawyer gets smacked on the head and gets knocked out. Jack must leave to save him. This leaves Jin to try to save Sun. Jin pulls and pulls, but he cannot get the metal to move. Sun begs for him to leave her, but he vows to never leave her again. So the embrace one another and drown.
Bye, Sun and Jin. These tears just mean I am a man.
And like that, three characters that have been with us since season one are gone (and Lapidus, but whatever. Only thing cool about him was his raspy voice and chest hair.) This episode was heavy. And then we see, on the beach, the survivors losing their cool and crying. Hurley bawling really got me too.
Jack, going out to the ocean and losing it, was powerful too. I wish this was how the episode ended, but it did not. We get to see Flocke realizing that people survived. He vows to finish what he started. But how? We don’t get to find out until May 23rd. That’s right: MAY 23rd. Next week’s episode is all about Jacob and the Man in Black. That should be incredibly interesting.
I’m leaving now. I have to think. I have to grieve. If there is anything we’ve learned, it’s that the F in Flocke doesn’t only stand for “fake,” but “fucker.” Ah, word play always makes me feel better!