We caught the very funny and very naked Mitch Fatel taking a splash break from promoting his new one-hour Comedy Central special, “Mitch Fatel is Magical,” which premieres on September 18 at 11pm/10pm Central. You know Mitch from Letterman, Leno, and, if you’re a lady, lascivious lovin’. That’s called alliteration, folks, and you’re welcome.

Much to the disappointment of the Rooftop ladies, Mitch didn’t show us his rubber ducky. But we’re still gonna watch him on Friday!

Posted: September 16th, 2009 under Video.
Comments: 1

On the heels of a totally bitchin’ “That Sucks” San Francisco showcase show comes another live, suck-filled extravaganza, this time at Go Bananas in Cincinnati.

Surely, you’ve uttered the phrase, “Man, that SUCKS!” at least once in the past 24 hours. Because, really, there are so very many things that suck. Like parking tickets, or stepping in bubble gum on a hot day, or finding out that your ex-boyfriend became a lady and is now getting married to your brother, and you’re expected to officiate. Not that we’re speaking from experience. Ahem.

Friends, have we got a suck-fest for you:

The “That Sucks” Showcase at Go Bananas!

Come be part of a live TV audience as Rooftop Comedy presents Cincinnati’s best comics standing up for what they think sucks! The funniest bits will make it on Rooftop’s new show “That Sucks” on MavTV! Yes, a weekly half hour of suckage that, ironically, does not suck at all.

Wednesday, September 17
8 pm
Go Bananas
(8410 Market Place LN, Cincinnati, 513.984.9288)
$5

Free T-shirts, giveaways, and chances for you in the audience to get on TV! Get there early to get a seat, so you can laugh until you cry. In a good way.

Posted: September 16th, 2009 under Shows.
Comments: 17

It has come to my attention that not many people read this blog. (4,000 visitors a day = Harrumph!). This is unfortunate considering how much love we put into it.

In a shameless attempt to grow our readership, I’m going to write about each of  yahoo’s top ten searches of the day. The thing is, I don’t know very much about this pop news hullabaloo, and I just don’t have the time to research the topics, so I’m just going to make things up.

And away we go.

1. Swine Flu Vaccine: One part tussin. One part grape soda. Three parts gin.  It worked for Lil Wayne and it can work for you.
2. Prince Harry: One of my friends has a “Prince Harry,” and from what I hear, it was a really painful piercing.
3. The Frankfurt Motor Show: Similar to the Dirty Sanchez, but with a shorter mustache and a motorboat grand finale.
4. Taylor Swift: World renowned man on man porn star.  I hear he likes to go head to head with Kanye West.
5. The Patriot Act: The Patriot Act all cool when dey win the Super Bowl n shit. Dat’s wack.
6. Patrick Swayze: RIP.
7. Lady Gaga: RIP
8. Afghanistan war: Probably my favorite new band since Flogging Somali.
9. Ben Bernanke: I went to high school with this creep, and he STILL owes me money.
10. Megadeth: My favorite emo Transformer since Goth-timus Prime.

Okay, there you have it, folks. My attempt at creating the most popular blog in the world. I’ll check back soon to see if my little experiment worked. In the meantime, let the billions of hits begin!

Posted: September 15th, 2009 under News'n'stuff, The Most Popular Blog in the World.
Comments: 119

Gotta make you understand…

…by Rickrolling you with architecture.

Those crazy nerds at MIT apparently got bored of engineering and programming and LARPing and masturbating, for they somehow managed to scamper up the side of the university’s famed Great Dome and festoon it with the first eight notes of Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up.”

This is, of course, a vast improvement from 1999, when students transformed the same dome into a replica of R2D2.

Who knew that all that math could keep the mind and the body so limber?

Congratulations, mystery pranksters, for bringing bemused joy to an entire city, and for finally making strides towards losing your virginity.

Posted: September 15th, 2009 under News'n'stuff.
Comments: 2

Kanye strikes again!

Dealing with a heckler is perhaps the most unpleasant thing about being a stand up comic. This is how I would’ve responded to Kanye if he had hopped on stage and heckled me last night.

- Real tough of you to come on stage, Kanye! I’d be scared, except I have made a policy of never being scared of a man that undergoes three costume changes over the course of three hours.

- Very nice of Yoko Ono of to lend you her sunglasses for the evening.

- Great insult. Did you make that up yourself or did you sample it from a better insult from 20 years ago?

- Cool haircut. It looks like the design on my ikea comforter.

- I’d take the mic back, but I like my Tcell count just the way it is, thank you.

- We have a special name for people that hate on 17 year old girls where I’m from, Kanye. We call them: “other 17 year old girls.”

I’m sure I’ll take it all back when his next hit comes out. In the meantime, however, it’s mean time for Mr. West.

Posted: September 14th, 2009 under Ruminations, theorizations and stuff.
Comments: 1

After that soggy nutfuck narcissist Kanye West literally stole Taylor Swift’s moment at last night’s MTV Video Music Awards,  Video of the Year winner Ms. Beyonce Knowles invited Swift up onstage so the gobsmacked teenager could finish her acceptance speech.

We here at Rooftop would like to pay a humble tribute to the ultimate Single Lady (except for that whole ‘married to Jigga’ thing), by sharing our favorite take on the now award-winning video.

And so help me, Kanye, if you fuck with this blog post, we’re coming to getcha.

All the single emos (all the single emos), put your hands up.

Posted: September 14th, 2009 under Ruminations, theorizations and stuff.
Comments: 2

Surely, you’ve uttered the phrase, “Man, that SUCKS!” at least once in the past 24 hours. Because, really, there are so very many things that suck. Like parking tickets, or stepping in bubble gum on a hot day, or finding out that your ex-boyfriend became a lady and is now getting married to your brother, and you’re expected to officiate. Not that we’re speaking from experience. Ahem.

Friends, have we got a suck-fest for you:

The *FREE* “That Sucks” Showcase at the Purple Onion

Come be part of a live TV audience as Rooftop Comedy presents San Francisco’s best comics standing up for what they think sucks! The funniest bits will make it on Rooftop’s new show “That Sucks” on MavTV! Yes, a weekly half hour of suckage that, ironically, does not suck at all.

Tuesday, September 16
6:30 doors, 7:30 show
The Purple Onion
(140 Columbus Ave, San Francisco, 415.956.1653)
And it’s FREE!!

Free T-shirts, giveaways, and chances for you in the audience to get on TV! Get there early to get a seat, so you can laugh until you cry. In a good way.

Posted: September 13th, 2009 under Ruminations, theorizations and stuff.
Comments: 1

Folks in the “default world” know me as Chris Garcia – stand-up comedian, friend, lover, and all around good guy. Last week, however, the folks at Burning Man knew me as Chris Garcia – spiritual adviser, unstoppable dance force, and most notably: Chris Garcia – FASHION ICON.

Here are the top 6 outfits I wore out on the Playa this year.

Posted: September 11th, 2009 under Ruminations, theorizations and stuff.
Comments: none

Although it was tough to ride a bicycle through the piping hot desert with this on, it was well worth it. I can now relate to the struggle of a woman in high heels (sorta).

Posted: September 11th, 2009 under Ruminations, theorizations and stuff.
Comments: 3

If you go to your local thrift store and purchase Fish net sleeves, an over-sized pea green and yellow bow tie, some thigh high American Apparel socks, a pair of busted fake ray bans, ill fitting women’s overalls, and some Homer Simpson slippers, you can look like a nerdcore desert raver for under $10!

Posted: September 11th, 2009 under Ruminations, theorizations and stuff.
Comments: 2