It has come to my attention that not many people read this blog. (4,000 visitors a day = Harrumph!). This is unfortunate considering how much love we put into it.

In a shameless attempt to grow our readership, I’m going to write about each of  yahoo’s top ten searches of the day. The thing is, I don’t know very much about this pop news hullabaloo, and I just don’t have the time to research the topics, so I’m just going to make things up.

And away we go.

1. Swine Flu Vaccine: One part tussin. One part grape soda. Three parts gin.  It worked for Lil Wayne and it can work for you.
2. Prince Harry: One of my friends has a “Prince Harry,” and from what I hear, it was a really painful piercing.
3. The Frankfurt Motor Show: Similar to the Dirty Sanchez, but with a shorter mustache and a motorboat grand finale.
4. Taylor Swift: World renowned man on man porn star.  I hear he likes to go head to head with Kanye West.
5. The Patriot Act: The Patriot Act all cool when dey win the Super Bowl n shit. Dat’s wack.
6. Patrick Swayze: RIP.
7. Lady Gaga: RIP
8. Afghanistan war: Probably my favorite new band since Flogging Somali.
9. Ben Bernanke: I went to high school with this creep, and he STILL owes me money.
10. Megadeth: My favorite emo Transformer since Goth-timus Prime.

Okay, there you have it, folks. My attempt at creating the most popular blog in the world. I’ll check back soon to see if my little experiment worked. In the meantime, let the billions of hits begin!

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