Guest Post from one of the Beards of Comedy, Joe Zimmerman.

Well, I set my new personal record on Friday, for worst gig I’ve ever performed at. I was asked to perform in an “auditorium” for “500 students” at American University. It was a Relay for Life benefit for the American Cancer Society, and they offered me $150. Okay, so good cause, good university, auditorium with 500 students, and I’m open that night, sounds good!

When I arrived, the “auditorium” was Bender Arena, which is a gym, not an auditorium. Critical difference between the two – the primary difference being, auditorium’s have stages, while gym’s have basketball courts. The event organizer was really nice and cheery, and didn’t look a day out of high school. I knew that the Relay for Life was a walk, but it never occurred to me that the majority of the “audience” would be walking, while I performed. I just assumed that no one would hire a comedian to perform for people who are walking. It’s never good to assume though – I learned this in grade school.

She initially asked me to perform at a podium, which was directly in the path of the walkers. Not wanting to be high maintenance, I asked, “Do you think that’s the best spot? Given that people will have to walk around me?” She then reconsidered, and asked me to perform center court, in the middle of the walking circle. Mmkay.

I was to follow a dance team – also not good – but I hadn’t given up. My plan was to find a way to make it work. My introduction didn’t help matters. I had been asked to email my intro a week in advance, so given the lead time, I thought they were really gonna nail it. The DJ cut off the Beyonce song and said, “Alright, this next guy is on tour with (long pause) the Beards of Comedy? He’s just coming from (long pause) the Detroit Comedy Festival? Whatever that means…Joel (long pause) Zimmer.”

Mmkay, thanks DJ. ‘Preciate you taking the time to memorize the ten word intro. Also, “whatever that means”? Really DJ? It means that I just came from the Detroit Comedy Festival, like it says.
The rest, plus pictures, after the jump!

Posted: March 30th, 2009 under Ruminations, theorizations and stuff.
Comments: 13

Graham Leggat helps brings the world to the doorstep of San Francisco. The world, through film. Graham, in addition to being Guest Editor of RooftopComedy this week is the Executive Director of the San Francisco Film Society, the organization that puts on the annual San Francisco International Film Festival, which will be making it’s 52nd pass around this world from April 23 to May 7. This is a festival that I might add that I was rejected from, back in 2004, when I still believed in things. But that was the past. No hard feelings.

Moving on, check out what he had to say about his picks below!

Jimmy Dore – Faith healers are bogus
It makes me happy to have someone pointedly call these charlatans on their fraudulence

Maria Bamford – What people want
It’s unpredictable and satirical and beautifully weird.

Eddie Gossling – My wife lies to me
The cumulative effect of its canny semi-stupidity.

Doug Mellard – Talking to your dog
Somehow this guy can channel actual conversations between me and my pup.

David Crowe – Aussies are tough
You just don’t hear enough good antipodean waxing jokes.

Andrew Norelli – Advice from a masseuse
Hopefully riffs like this will help reduce inanity statewide.

More about the San Francisco International Film Festival:
The 52nd San Francisco International Film Festival runs April 23 – May 7, 2009 and will screen the finest in independent, documentary and international cinema. The West Coast hub for cineastes, filmmakers, journalists and industry professionals, the International brings world-renowned talent–such as this year’s awardees Robert Redford and Francis Ford Coppola–to Bay Area audiences. SFIFF52 celebrates Bay Area film culture, with Peter Bratt’s La Mission, starring his brother Benjamin Bratt for its Opening Night selection, followed by a lavish afterparty at Bruno’s and El Capitan Theatre. The festival will also will present spectacular events including the Midnight Awards with Evan Rachel Wood and Elijah Wood, and a live performance by psychedelic Cambodian/American pop band Dengue Fever to accompany the classic silent film The Lost World. SFIFF52 will close with Alexis Dos Santos’s Unmade Beds, a tale of two solitary expats crossing paths in London’s cosmopolitan art-rock scene. For tickets and information visit http://fest09.sffs.org/

Posted: March 27th, 2009 under Ruminations, theorizations and stuff.
Comments: none

Guest Post from the best stand-up in Chicago 2008, Robert Buscemi.

So I’m supposed to be ALL IMPRESSED that CAT STEVENS “knows a lot of fancy dancers”?

Why is that such a big deal? He doesn’t even say HOW he knows them. And he says it so matter-of-factly, in such a passing manner, like the rest of us will be all impressed and give him things.

Like … give him things he would like, you know? Like a fancy braidworked leather guitar strap for his acoustic modern-day poet stringed siren-song maker, and the strap has these beautiful inlaid beads and little glinty diamanelles, and even some turquoise so it looks Southwestern.

Just because Cat knows a lot of fancy dancers I’m going to buy him one of those straps? Or commission one of these babies to be made for him? That’s gotta be like 150 bucks minimum, to get one fancy enough to please Mr. Acoustic himself, Mr. “Saturday Night and I Ain’t Got Nobody!” (except for his gd FANCY DANCERS, huh?)

The rest, after the jump!

Posted: March 27th, 2009 under Ruminations, theorizations and stuff.
Comments: 80

Guest post from the funny TJ Young (who was also our first Funny Title Here interviewee) writing about venturing with his group, The Beards of Comedy to the NYC Beard and Mustache Championships – Paolo

A Beards of Comedy postcard from the NYC Beard & Mustache Championships
by TJ Young

In a city like New York, nothing is ‘shocking’…well, nothing except three large, bearded comedians packed in a Toyota Prius. At least that’s what the “Beards of Comedy” found out earlier this month. The natives couldn’t stop staring. Driving up to the big city, three of the four ‘Beards’ (Dave Stone, Andy Sandford & TJ Young) were on our way to one of the most unique shows we’ve ever booked…the NYC Beard and Mustache Championships…held in the heart of Williamsburg in Brooklyn, NY.

Beginning at 8pm Saturday, March 14th the event featured a ZZ Top cover band, a Burlesque Troop, a fabulous Banjo player, a GREAT bearded band from Charlotte, NC called “The New Familiars” and the Beards of Comedy (minus Joe Zimmerman who had a previous engagement). All this bearded bliss would last well into Sunday (4am) with several categories of facial hair judging mixed in between changeovers. The night would get ‘hairy’ for sure, we just didn’t know how hairy and whether that was a good or bad thing.
Read the rest, after the jump!

Posted: March 25th, 2009 under Ruminations, theorizations and stuff.
Comments: 34

After all the internet ballot dust cleared, yesterday made it quite clear that we were the last comedy website standing. As of yesterday, RooftopComedy.com is now the Best. Comedy. Website. Of. 2008. This is of course through the fine folks over at Comedysmack.

This calls for a celebration. And cake.

And an acknowledgment that we couldn’t have done it without you. Truly. Fact. Infallible. This is not just a win for RooftopComedy, this is a win for you. This cake is for you.

Posted: March 24th, 2009 under Cool stuff from Rooftop Comedy.
Comments: none

It’s the first day of Spring! Birds in the air, the sun is out, pollen is pollinating. It’s time for that Friday dose of the latest clips of the week!

The clips, after the jump!

Posted: March 20th, 2009 under The New Clip Round-Up.
Comments: 1

I’m happy to report that we have the Nrrrd Grrrl (not a typo) herself, Cyan Banister (not to be confused with a Cyan Banister) as our Guest Editor for the week! But much more than that, Cyan is the Founder and Editor-In-Chief of Zivity.com, a place where in the words of Fast Company, “recognizes market potential in the primordial instinct to ogle (and be olged)”. Zivity.com is a platform where subscribers can vote on their favorite photos from the models of Zivity, and help the models and photographers get scrilla in the process!

Cyan also runs sexiestgeeksalive.com, a blog celebrating the sexiest geeks, well, alive.

I’m proud to welcome Cyan to the hallowed halls of the geeky Guest Editor, with the likes of Chris Hardwick, Irina Slutsky, and Veronica Belmont!

Gary Gulman – Girlfriend proof computer
Gary Gulman, you are my hero! Never has the semicolon been so funny in my life. Guys, Gary speaks the truth here and these are words of wisdom. Heck, ladies may want to follow his advice too because you never know when the semicolon ninjas will sneak up on you and ruin your day.

Greg Morton – Best Buy security tags
Completely understand them and completely hate them — security tags. Greg Morton has the perfect solution for the next time security gives you dirty looks when your freshly purchased merchandise sets off store security alarms. I totally need to build up the guts to do this.

Kelly Soloduka – Food court Street Fighters
I’m from Phoenix, Arizona and our culture is centered around the mall, arcades and food courts. Just about everyone does their time serving mallrats while avoiding the blazing heat, so this brought back memories.

Amber Preston – Addicted to social networking
There’s a reason why people look better on MySpace (angles baby) and the world really needs more social networking jokes, because some of it is just pure comedy.

Jeff Bodart – Women love a British accent
Seriously, American women love British accents. This is absolutely true. I swear, a British guy can say anything to me and I go weak in the knees.

Macio – Seductive cab ride
It is a fantasy of mine to spend a year riding around in taxis and interviewing people to capture their best taxi stories. This is one of the best I’ve ever heard. Also, best song ever to get stuck in your head.

Posted: March 19th, 2009 under Guest Editors.
Comments: 3

Check out this week’s A Tight 5ive featuring Marla Schultz! Some choice bits about the differences between going on the road with Chelsea Handler and yourself, how awesome Courtney Cox is, and trying to go clean.

Posted: March 18th, 2009 under Ruminations, theorizations and stuff.
Comments: none

Another Friday the 13th, and as Alex Blagg pointed out, right before the Ides of March. I know we should be happy about it being Friday and all, but dang, I kind of want to avoid this weekend. In case of assassination and bad luck. I hope these new clips can help in both these matters.

New clips, after the jump!

Posted: March 13th, 2009 under The New Clip Round-Up.
Comments: 1

In honor of Saint Patrick’s day coming up in a couple of days, we would like to introduce Emmy winner, founder and director of the San Francisco + Los Angeles Irish Film Festivals, producer, writer, and director (among other things), Niall McKay as our Guest Editor for the week!

In true director fashion, consider this entry the director’s cut of Niall’s Guest Editorship, with more picks than we could fit!

Jackie Kashian on where she keeps her vagina. Where do you keep yours? A novel idea for a T-shirt that could be worn by both women and men. I’d buy one.
http://www.rooftopcomedy.com/watch/VeniceBeachMassage

Bob Biggerstaff : The cautionary tale of meeting girls on Myspace. If you want a date make sure that you don’t end up on Dateline.
http://www.rooftopcomedy.com/watch/MeetingGirlsOnMyspace

What about men’s menstrual cycles? Is it justice or just a horrible thought. Greg Edwards puts a new spin saying that if you hang out with him good things will happen.
http://www.rooftopcomedy.com/watch/MenstrualCycles

Friends don’t ask friends to wax. Jodi White likes to prepare to be touched by her gynecologist. But a little wax can turn your privates right out.
http://www.rooftopcomedy.com/watch/SpecialTripToMyDoctor

96ing. No not a gas station but a new sex position for married couples. TJ Miller thinks that 69ing is a thing of the past.
http://www.rooftopcomedy.com/watch/69ing

Girls how to get your boyfriend to propose to you in one easy step. OK several steps. Johnny Gardhouse has discovered the secret.
http://www.rooftopcomedy.com/watch/TheWorstLieInTheWorld

We’re put on this earth to destroy this planet. This is a new idea. David Huntsberger discovers that finally we have a talent.
http://www.rooftopcomedy.com/watch/HumansVsEarth

Don’t wear a red shirt to target practice. Clinton Jackson tells you how to meet a lot of people shopping.
http://www.rooftopcomedy.com/watch/TargetPractice

Slice of wedding cake? Kat Williams says that it’s like seeing a man wash your dishes. You never knew it turned you on until you tried it.
http://www.rooftopcomedy.com/watch/AreYouFeelingRandyBaby

Posted: March 12th, 2009 under Guest Editors.
Comments: none