Annie versus Briana, Point/Counterpoint
Yesterday’s Point/Counterpoint is a day late, but is it a dollar short? You be the judge. This week, Briana and Annie joust at Kanye’s recent arrest at LAX, after altercatin’ with some paparazzi. I’m going to sit on the sidelines of this until I can think of a witty-esqe Kanye West pun. “Kanye West Stronger Than Paparazzi?” Needs some work, I know. I do know that people should be arrested for wearing those shutter shades though!
Kanye should be locked up. (Where’s his lawyer?)
I get it, Kanye. When you’re headed to the airport to hop on a flight to Hawaii, you don’t want to be hassled by paparazzi. Especially if you aren’t completely put together that day. And nothing about that gray hoodie says hip-hop royalty. But I have to imagine that paparazzi are an integral part of the job when you’re a famous dude like Kanye. So why do we see so many celebrities engaging in violent altercations with these aggressive media stalkers? Instead, couldn’t you invest some of the millions of dollars you spend on bottle service VIP parties and designer couture on an increased security detail or a private jet charter? Why would you need to wait in line at the regular airport check-in? You aren’t a real person, Kanye. The public loves you. They want photos of you performing normal person things, so they can imagine themselves just one step away from total stardom.
Lock Kanye up for the assault charges. I’m not trying to keep a dude down, but I think a few days incarcerated may help his music. Because, let’s face it, when you grew up with a college professor for a mom and then became an art school drop-out, you need a little thug life experience if you’re going to connect to your fans.
All Future Celebrities Would Agree: Leave Kanye the F*%! Alone.
Maybe Briana comes from a place where it’s atypical to display compassion to your fellow Americans, but where Annie comes from (The Illustrious Garden State of New Jersey) we like to keep our celebrities above the law. We also like to talk in the third person about ourselves.
Look, Annie likes to imagine that one day she’ll be super-famous too. Which means that Annie will have her own entourage of paparazzi following me…err…her. And there is nothing as satisfying as the thought of breaking the building frustration at being constantly chased for the latest photo-op with a small act of targeted rage such as Kanye’s. It’s not like those people can’t expense their broken cameras. Annie wants to let all future paparazzi stalkers know where she stands here. Be forewarned, celebrity chasers. Annie will bring the pain if Annie feels violated while wearing a gray sweat shirt at the airport on the way to Hawaii.