I’m sure that by now, everybody has seen or heard about the incident involving Shaq’s freestyle bashing on Kobe, telling him the now future immortal words to asking Kobe to tell him “how his ass taste”. If not, well, what are you waiting for? Watch it, and come back, I’ll wait, okay?

Shaq maintains that the freestyle was done in good fun, and to that anybody who knows him, that he’s a funny freestyler. I suppose, but this is coming from the man who brought us the equally funny, Shaq-Fu video game, the hilarious family film Kazaam, and the Platinum selling masterwork, but just as funny album, Shaq Diesel.

I think how Shaq-gate 2008 (Or Shaq-killin’-Kobe-in-16-don’t-hurt-him-gate) has affected me and the future of this country, is the almost dogmatic fashion Shaq whips up the crowd into chanting along. Having them abet to asking, pleading, challenging Kobe, to let Shaq know, how exactly how does his, and everyone else’s ass at the venue that night taste? With that, I haven’t seen this much furor, since the Führer in the rise of the Third Reich! Am I right, am I right? Ass-tasting, or scapegoating the Jews, just turn it into a chant, and you’re set.

I would also like to postulate that just like all of Top Gun, the parts of the Shaq-Kobe feud that I can understand is playing out like a big gay tragic love story. Kobe Byrant insinuating that Shaq paid his various secret rendezvous off so that they wouldn’t talk, Shaq saying that Kobe caused his divorce, and now Shaq asking Kobe how his ass tastes was codeword, for yes. Isn’t that something, they’re so in love with each other, it almost goes full circle and they hate each other! Just like Maverick and Iceman!

Hey, I thought it was funny when I walked out the door this morning.

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